Okay, let's talk toilet paper – because apparently in 2023, this is still a thing we hyperanalyze. I just got my bulk case of Angel Soft, and here's the real tea:

First impression? That box was HEAVY. Like 'did I accidentally order dumbbells?' heavy. But unboxing these individually wrapped rolls felt like Christmas morning for my bathroom. The little paper pull-tabs are genius – no more wrestling with plastic wrap like it's mortal kombat.

Softness level: It's like wiping with clouds (if clouds came in 2-ply). Not Charmin-level plush, but definitely not that sad single-ply stuff they have in gas stations. Perfect middle ground where you don't feel like you're either molesting a baby duck or sandpapering your behind.

Septic system report: My pipes haven't thrown a tantrum yet, which is more than I can say for some 'luxury' brands that clog like they're getting paid to do it.

The real MVP? Each roll lasts forever. I'm pretty sure one roll outlasted my last relationship. At this rate, my grandkids will inherit some of these rolls.

Only con? You'll need to clear out a storage bunker. This isn't just stocking up – it's preparing for the toilet paper apocalypse. But hey, after 2020, can you blame me?

Final verdict: My butt gives it two thumbs up (figuratively speaking). Will definitely buy again when I run out in approximately 2045.