Okay, so I finally got my hands on The Goonies Steelbook in 4K Ultra HD, and wow—just wow. This is pure childhood magic upgraded for the modern era.

The steelbook itself is gorgeous—glossy artwork that makes me want to display it like a trophy. And the 4K transfer? Astoria has never looked this crisp. Every frame feels like you're right there hunting for One-Eyed Willy's treasure.

BUT (why is there always a but?)... no octopus scene?! Come on, Warner Bros. That deleted bit is legendary among fans. Still, hearing Data yell "booty traps" in HDR almost makes up for it.

Pro tip: Watch with friends who quote every line. Extra points if you pause to point out Cannon Beach landmarks (yes, I'm that person). Also—no digital code included, so physical-media purists, rejoice!

Final verdict: ★★★★☆ because Goonies NEVER say die... but they do occasionally say "where's our dang octopus?"