Okay, so I caved and bought this retro-looking Magnavox boombox for my kid’s room. CD players in 2024? Yes, because screens are the enemy now. Here’s the tea:

First impressions: It’s lightweight—like, suspiciously lightweight. The plastic feels like it’s made from recycled yogurt cups. But hey, it’s cheap, so I lowered my expectations accordingly.

The sound? Oof. My iPhone speakers put this thing to shame. How does something this bulky sound tinier than a hamster sneeze? My kid didn’t care (bless her), but if you’re an audiophile, run.

Biggest fail: The headphone jack is a prank. Plug in headphones? The whole unit shuts off. Cool feature, Magnavox. We returned it faster than you can say 'early 2000s throwback.'

Silver lining: The Bluetooth works… when it feels like it. Prepare for daily resets and FM radio that picks up more static than stations.

Verdict: Cute for kids who don’t know better, but if you want actual *sound*, keep scrolling.