Okay, let's get this straight - this book is NOT for your grandma's birdwatching club. If you clutch your pearls at the F-word, run away now. But if you want to laugh till coffee comes out your nose while learning about nature's most obnoxious creatures? Welcome home.

The BUMMR ratings alone are worth the price - finally someone quantified why seagulls are basically flying trash pandas. That 'baby-hunting eagle' entry had me wheezing. Pro tip: Don't read this in public unless you enjoy explaining sudden snort-laughs to strangers.

Yes, the language would make a sailor blush. No, I wouldn't gift this to children (unless you want some VERY interesting parent-teacher conferences). But after a crap day at work? Nothing beats reading about 'that one woodpecker that sounds like a construction site divorce' to reset your mood.

Bonus: The bird feet appendix is weirdly fascinating. Now I can identify avian jerks by their terrible footwear choices from 50 yards away. 10/10 would get angrily chirped at by offended chickadees again.