If you're serious about keeping your bike safe, the Kryptonite Evolution 1012 is like hiring a bodyguard for your two-wheeled baby. This isn't just a lock - it's a statement to would-be thieves that your ride isn't worth the trouble.

The first thing you'll notice is the weight - at nearly 7 pounds, this isn't something you'll forget you're carrying. I wear it slung over my shoulder like a bandolier, and while it's definitely noticeable, the padded sleeve makes it surprisingly comfortable. Just don't expect to win any sprint races with this beast in your backpack!

Where this lock truly shines (besides literally, thanks to that genius key light) is in actual security performance. The 10mm hardened steel links feel absolutely indestructible in your hands. I've used it daily to secure my e-bike outside coffee shops and grocery stores, wrapping the generous 4-foot length around both my frame and whatever immovable object I can find.

The rubber coating is a lifesaver - no scratched paint after months of use. And that sliding dustcover? Brilliant for keeping grime out of the locking mechanism during rainy commutes. The three included keys (one with built-in light) give me peace of mind against losing access.

Is it perfect? Well, carrying what feels like a medieval weapon does get old on longer rides. And while the insurance offer is nice, I'd rather not test it! But when I see other cyclists nervously glancing at their flimsy cable locks while mine could probably stop a tank? Worth every ounce.